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Guilty? Awesome.

For many of us, guilt is like a certain kind of old friend — someone whom we willingly let in the door, and then can’t kick out.
Guilt shows up when we act in a way that doesn’t sync with our goals and values — whether procrastinating, or breaking a promise, or taking credit for someone else’s work. At its best, guilt acts like a moral compass, prompting us to reflect on what we’re doing (or not doing), and then make constructive change.

Guilty? Awesome.

And surprisingly, December has the maximum number of guilts...of all the broken resolutions, "i wish i did that" trips and late night wonderings of how your life could be better. Are you feeling guilty about something? Maybe you’re feeling guilty because you failed to live up to your personal expectations. Maybe it’s because you failed to live up to other people’s expectations of you. Maybe you did something hurtful to someone else, or maybe you embarrassed someone or wronged others in some way. Or maybe it’s all about you. You are feeling guilty because you didn’t keep a promise you made to yourself.
If you fail to make the necessary adjustments to your behavior, and maybe choose instead to ignore your guilt, then guilt could easily turn into regret or shame.  Guilt could also lead to a state of emotional paralysis or confusion. 
Guilty? Awesome.

THE GUILTY-PLEASURE PARADOX
“Guilt-free” is a phrase that gets tossed around a lot: guilt-free TV, guilt-free desserts, guilt-free shopping… It seems that wherever there’s pleasure involved, there’s guilt to be had. We often don’t allow ourselves to do what we want because we believe we haven’t earned it. And, even when we do say yes, that guilty little voice in our heads spoils the fun of a nightcap at the close of a hard day, or that beach getaway with friends.

5 signs that guilt may be reducing up the quality of your life:
  1. You avoid certain people or situations because they trigger shame memories.
  2. You say no to opportunities because you believe you don’t deserve them.
  3. You clam up or get defensive.
  4. You rationalize or make excuses, even when no one’s challenging you.
  5. When you play (and replay) the guilty act in your head, it kills your mood and energy levels — and takes you a good long while to reset.

While it’s healthy to have rules for responsible behavior — a glass of wine with dinner is one thing; a bottle of wine is another — unrealistic expectations of never ever indulging set you up for failure. (source : banish guilt from your lives forever.com)

Try these tips:
  1. Let go of other people's beliefs. If you feel that something you want to do is undeserved, ask yourself who said so. Does society say that it’s wrong? Your friends?  Then ask yourself what you believe — and respect your own judgment.
  2. Forgive yourself. Okay, so you did something you’re not proud of. That’s part of being human, but it doesn’t define who you are. Forgiving yourself requires new perspectives. Talking through your guilt with someone else often lightens the burden
  3. Start taking charge.Of course what has happened has already happened, and you can’t go back into the past and change things. However, there might be certain things you can still do that can help you improve your circumstances and therefore potentially eliminate your feelings of guilt.
  4. Break up with your guilt. Once you’ve made honest efforts to make amends, box up your guilt up and get rid of it. Try creating some kind of ritual that helps you divorce your guilt — such as writing a positive affirmation or letter to yourself, or burning or throwing away a physical artifact that represents your feelings of shame. Or maybe eating a chocolate? seems delicious.... :p
  5.  Catharsis. Coming to the final step, you fully understand your guilt and the situation that triggered this guilt. You have made a plan of action to not use self blame as a tool to overcome guilt. Mistakes only diminish us when we don’t learn from them. The mistakes we make can make us wiser, smarter, and more compassionate

Guilty? Awesome.



Take time to sit down in a quiet place. Close your eyes and breathe deeply. You can also learn to Meditate. With every breath you exhale, envision yourself releasing your guilt out of your body and into outer-space.  The most important thing is that you let go of this guilt, and then take full responsibility for your life and move forward in a positive way.
Live free, fellow homo sapiens  :)

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16 comments:

  1. Well, so perfectly written. And living in society, we tend to miss off these points... Beautifully covered and thanks for all the knowledge :)

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  2. Beautifully written Nishtha. Eagerly waiting for more of your posts :)

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  3. Wonderfully written Nishtha. Eagerly waiting for more of your blog posts. Such a gem of knowledge. ;)

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  4. Wonderfully written Nishtha. Such a gem of knowledge. Thankyou ;)

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  5. Perfect :) very useful for people, coz this is important for everyone to read as it is the least shared thing

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  6. This one is so much relatable!
    Loved it .

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  7. This is so beautifully explained. Lots to learn from it .
    Thank you fir sharing . :)

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  8. I have been reading many of you blogs and after reading this I couldn’t stop myself from saying that you are a beautiful writer . The way you understand feelings and explain them .. it’s wonderful.
    This one was beautifully written .

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  9. Seriously these words are so helpful.

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  10. This is so amazing... New blogs and new energy of motivation

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  11. You are doing a great job here. All the best to all the team

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  12. So helpful !! Beautifully expressed the content..😀

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  13. Well what all I can say is that, this topic is so realistic and everyone can correlate practically with their personal lives.. Even I can see immense number of points which I can relate to my own life.. You understand the psychology of "mango men" so clearly.. God bless you.. Keep going...
    I am sure you will never ever feel "GUILT" about writing anything:)
    Gos bless!

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