What a healthy relationship requires, is the space to be yourself and simultaneously maintaining your personal integrity. Many people will respect your boundaries when you explain what they are and will expect that you will do the same for them; it’s a two-way street. Personal boundaries are the limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships. A person with healthy boundaries can say “no” to others when they want to, but they are also comfortable opening themselves up to intimacy and close relationships.
Won’t most of us admit to feeling guilty when we are forced to make a last-minute choice of going to that family function we promised a week ago and an urgent meeting we can’t miss?
Or maybe when we want to just sit back at home and chill but your best friend wants you to dress up for a reunion?
Don’t worry if you aren’t aware of your boundaries we’ve got you covered
Step 1 - Know the Purpose
The purpose of having boundaries is to protect and take care of ourselves. We need to be able to tell other people when they are acting in ways that are not acceptable to us.
Step 2 - Learning to Respond to Emergencies
Even with life events that occur in a way that we seemingly don't have a choice over (being laid off work, the car breaking down, a flood, etc.) we still have a choice over how we respond to those events. We can choose to see things that feel like and seem to be, tragic as opportunities for growth.
Step 3 - Evaluate Emotions
Emotions can be your best friends if recognised and used well. Know your emotion and if you figure it’s something probably the other person can’t deal with say anger or anxiety, ask for time off. It’s better to come back recovered than allow yourself to be a mess of emotions that you couldn’t understand. Take time to get the hang of it and come back a much more loved version of yourself.
Step 4 - Take the Quiz
Wanna know what kind of boundary you have?
Take the Instagram quiz by clicking this link, and reach us back here to look for the solutions-
https://bit.ly/lifectioneryquiz
Boundary quiz Solutions{ISRA}
8 to 15: you have strong boundaries however you need to ask yourself that do you sometimes tend to put up emotional walls and appear cold and distant?Solution ~ try to allow yourself be a little expressive and vulnerable in front of the ones you trust and see how light you will feel
16 to 23 in progress boundaries. You are quite balanced however face some occasional hiccups. Allow yourself every now and then to be mindful of what you practise in forms of creativity art expression or even as simple as listening to music
24 to 31 weak boundaries, you are close to a very few set number of people and hence invest your all in them, try to give yourself some space and take time for gratitude journaling
32 to 40 very weak boundaries, You often feel drained and exhausted since most people take advantage of you hence leaving you emotionally vulnerable. It’s High time to make yourself the number one priority
Step 5 - Solving the Puzzle
- Be aware and mindful whenever stepping in a new relationship, remind yourself you are worthy anyways, with or without a person in your life.
- Enhance self-esteem through disputing your irrational beliefs like I must always take care of everyone around or I should not say no. Don’t lower your esteem based on other views about you, not everyone can understand awesomeness right?
- Practice understanding yourself, make a list of what you like or not and don’t be afraid to voice your opinion when required.
- Allow others to have their space too, it’s a beautiful step when you realize that all of us feel the same when one day or the other, the circumstances might be different but we experience the same range of emotions, allow others to heal and respect them too
- Follow Lifectionery on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and feel free to message the in house psychologist for any doubts or even just to share how you felt.
Spreading lots of beautiful vibrations.
Sources and credits
Therapists aids online
Isra
Psychology today online magazine
About the Author
Dr. Nishtha Grover
I am an educator and a counseling psychologist. Writing and making complex emotions simple is something that appeals to me. Moving ahead with the motto to spread kindness and smiles with my work.
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