Listening - The skill you need to master life

Hello Lifectioners,

Firstly, I would like to wish you all with a very happy happy new year... And apologise for thid very late post..

This time, I would like you all to develop some good skills so that this year goes the best of all... Being a dentist by profession, we are especially taught to first develop this LISTENING skill, then move onwards to the procedure coz 80% of the dignosis comes up by listening and through some intelligent history taking, as taught by our respected faculties... :p
Now, moving on, this is an easy experiment to try it yourself to see what you discover. Take a time period to talk as much as you want. Then take an equal time period with similar activities to just listen.  What do you notice?

Sometimes it's more important NOT to say anything and at other times choosing to reflect what you heard will be the crucial action. Many people who value speaking have not experienced the dynamic of opening to the creativity of listening. It can be a gift that empowers a speaker whose voice doesn't get heard. It can open up possibilities to resolve potential and actual conflict. Or be a chance to discover something surprising. Or change the dynamics of a situation with powerful results.

Having noted all that, because I find it easy to use the powerful tools of listening, it is also important for those like me to practice speaking and being heard. Otherwise we may be disrespectful of ourselves, our relationships, and our community.
It is definitely a balance. Sometimes we must bring out something using our own voice. But more often than not, we must listen and reflect back what we hear. 

One of the most common complaints in the workplace (and even at home) is a failure to communicate effectively.
Oftentimes, people are quite vocal about what they do or not approve of, but are the people who can help, listening?
The next time you are in a crowded food court or on a bus, take note of people carrying conversations with one another. Are they actually listening to one another or are they simply waiting for their turn to speak?
If you find the opportunity to raise an issue with someone in the future, pay attention to the way in which you speak. Are you listening to what the other person has to say?
Try speaking less and listening more. It has its benefits.
1) You will think before you speak
Given time before you speak, you will put a little more thought into what you want to communicate to the other person. Take in what he or she is saying, and use their suggestions to support or dissuade your argument. Also, you will not end up saying something you did not intend to divulge.
2) You can process what the other person is talking about
When someone is speaking to you, it’s easy to zone out and just focus on snippets of what they’re saying. Listen carefully to what they are saying, how they are saying it. There may be an underlying issue of which you weren’t even aware, the person may be upset. Make sure you hear them out completely.
3) You will only say what’s important
If you decide to listen more, and speak less than you normally would, it would make sense to only say what needs to be said. Why waste your time talking about things that don’t matter, or don’t deserve the energy?
If you want your opinions to make an impact, you should keep your points succinct. Try to make yourself as clear as possible so that there is no room for confusion. It was Benjamin Franklin who said, “Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; Avoid trifling Conversation.”
4) You will have all of the facts before decision-time
If you spend most of your conversations listening, and you absorb the information given to you, you’ll likely have a well-rounded opinion on the outcome of any decisions that are made.
For example, if you are in a meeting with several people who have concerns about a particular issue, let each person have their say before a decision is made. If you collect all of the facts, you will be able to make a well-informed decision on the outcome.
5) You will value other peoples’ opinions
There’s nothing more frustrating than pouring your heart out to someone and being met with a brick wall. It is so important to feel needed in the workplace (or home!)
If your opinions are valued and taken into consideration, you will feel much better not only about the situation, but about yourself as well. Turning that around, you should make others feel the same way, that their opinions matter and that they too, are a valued member of the team.
Conversations should be give and take. You shouldn’t have to interrupt someone to get your word in. But you shouldn’t dismiss what they have to say either.

If you can truly listen to what is being said, process the information, and use it effectively, your communication skills will only get better as time goes on.


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