It was a normal busy day. Getting the alarm clock to snooze was getting harder by each passing second. A beautiful dream was being shattered with every sound of my mum screaming in the background.
DIYA COLLEGE CALLING" my phone rung."Why the hell is she calling me this early?" I rubbed my eyes and awakened to press the accept call button when.....
SHIT.....SHIT!Shit... It wasn't some Diya, it was this girl who left no stone unturned in making me feel super inferior in front of the poetry society last week when I auditioned for the post of president.......umm...... basically "her post".
My neurons were shooting signals of danger all around and warned me to cut the call but I didn't pay heed to them and attended it.
"Naina? Why so long to pick my call up?" she snubbed from the other side.
"Well, I just woke up ... So, how is it that you just simply are calling me?" I asked.
"Not to extend your curiosity, I do not know why but the dean has involved a re-audition for the post which I just thought to inform you" her tone was full of mockery.
"Me?" I asked twice with my eyes now open wide.
"Yes, You....but not just this, I wanted to inform you that we all members thought its better that you just simply simply simply don't come because we don't want to diminish the image of "Verses" with people like you contesting" she casually said.
DAMN....so this girl had the nerve to call and discourage me!
"Excuse me? It's an open audition and who are you to stop me from contesting in it?" I was blatantly straightforward
"Well, I never meant to tell you this but since you're asking, your poems aren't within the littlest amount impressive...that's what all members felt...the president's post requires huge feet to fill the shoe but it seems that your tiny feet won't fit....anyways bye....gotta go" and before I could recover from what she said, she hung up!
My mom entered my room and scolded me "NAINA...EARLY MORNING AND YOU ARE ON CALL!".
"Just going yaar mum...Chill" I said.
"How repeatedly I even need to inform you to urge on time and stand back from your cell within the morning but you never hear me!"
"MOM what's your problem...Why the hell are you always after my life...It's my cell phone! I am an adult and I expect you to treat me like one!" I screamed and stomped out off the space during a rage leaving my mom upset and puzzled.
After I got ready for college and came to collect my breakfast, my mother made me sit.
"What is that the matter girl, why are you so upset...I am sure it isn't because I scolded you for your cell phone"
"Yeah... it isn't which I'm pitying screaming at you. I didn't mean to" I apologized genuinely.
"Tell me, love, what is it?" my mum asked me looking concerned
"Mom, I wont to be so looking forward to auditioning for poetry society but now I buy to know that everybody thinks that I'm not talented and no-one said it to me on face until today which was supposedly gonna be the biggest day for me, but....."I sighed
"but now you feel shameful and humiliated...right? and this fear of being mocked in front of everyone is stopping you from contesting" mum just said what I couldn't.
"exactly.....I don't wanna feel ashamed before numerous people..." I said
"you know where you are going wrong? THE BASIC REASON THAT YOU ARE STRUGGLING WITH INSECURITY IS BECAUSE YOU ARE COMPARING YOUR BACKSTAGE REEL WITH SOMEONES SPOTLIGHT REEL" mum started to make sense.
" Naina, we are sometimes so busy to nurture someone else's plant that we forget to water our seed. It's okay that people don't like you but in the end, what matters is how much you like your self." mum said
I looked up wiped my tears, hugged her tightly and went for my auditions.
aha ...Don't mistake it for a happy ending...
It went superb, some found my poetry lovely and some found it to be trash and finally when the results were announced I wasn't selected as the president but was given the post of creative adviser.
Trust me, you all must be feeling super bad but I didn't because I learned the most important lesson of my life- TO TAKE PRIDE IN BEING SHAMELESS. Sometimes we are so preoccupied with what others will say that we forget to listen to the whispers of passion that our soul is giving us. We are wired in a wrong way- we have been taught for ages to put others first, we have taught them that we come second to them and when the time comes to put ourselves first we feel ashamed.
When there is no enemy within poking and making you feel full of shame, the enemies outside can't beat you.
THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SOMEONE WHO WOULDN'T SEE YOUR WORTH.
DON'T LET THAT SOMEONE BE "YOU".
Love yourself, forgive yourself, it's NOT SELFISH to be there for yourself when you need your heart to give you the love which you have been giving to so many people who don't even value it.
YOU WANT TO BE INDESTRUCTIBLE AND SUPER HAPPY? Follow this mantra-
"OWN WHO YOU'RE and TAKE PRIDE IN BEING SHAMELESS"
"Keep Smiling"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No comments:
Post a Comment
We would like to hear from you about this post: